So I have been thinking lately... scary, I know, that I haven't really blogged much about myself. (Warning, this is probably going to be a ramble on some of my scrambled up thoughts.) I was looking back and realized that most of them are all about Emma and what she is doing. I was talking to a friend yesterday and we were asking each other what we had been up to, and who we hang out with. Both of us could really only answer that our kids take up our time, and are the people we hang out with. While that is a very noble thing, it's kind of sad at times too. After all, while I am a mother, I am also a woman with needs and aspirations. Sometimes it is hard to know where I should be devoting all my time, energy, and talents to my child, and when that time should also go into doing things for myself and with other women. I am sure part of this is my fault. I could be more proactive about inviting people over or setting up play dates, or something. For some reason I get a little nervous about doing that. I guess I don't want to make people feel like they have to come and hang out with me just because I offer an invitation. How lame is that, I must really have some issues! :) After all friendships are a two way street. I can't expect my friends to be handed to me on a silver platter, I need to take some risks and step out of my comfort zone. At the same time, I hope that others will take chances on me as well.
Speaking of taking chances, a few weeks ago a lady in my neighborhood saw me on one of my morning walks, and asked if I stayed home with my daughter. She then invited me to come over to her house anytime to hang out with her and her two kids. I was very flattered by her offer, but never took her up on it. While I am all about meeting new people, I don't know who she is and I know nothing about her kids, so it made me a little nervous to just walk over. However, I couldn't get her out of my thoughts, so I was FINALLY able to build enough courage to stop at her house, while walking this morning, and inviting her to come to park day this Thursday. She seems really exciting about. I hope she comes so I can get to know her better.
Well, I guess that is all I have to say right now. I know those are some pretty random thoughts, but I couldn't help but express them. Any advice, or I am just really weird and insecure? :) Man I tell you, the life of being a mother/woman can be odd at times.
6 comments:
I think we all go through identity crisis' at one time or another. I am having anxiety moving to a new city and that is where I grew up. Doug thinks I am a nut, but I seriously worry about it (and sorta dread the new thing). Kids definitely consume most of your life, that and other household duties. I think it's great that you had the courage to invite her. Who was it?
I'd be your friend FOR SURE if we lived close by. Your feelings are totally valid, but take it from me: anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend, so knock on that door!
Oh, Anna! I am right there with you! It's a hard balance to strike between Mommy Time & Me Time. I've recently been thinking about how I feel this strong desire to keep in touch with old friends, which is good, but I think it stems from not wanting to exert the effort of making new friends. I know, super lame. So when we get there, we'll have to unite and make friends together. :)
I totally hear you.
Taking time for myself seems nearly impossible at the moment. But when I do I find that I am a better Mom for it.
It takes creativity. At the moment, time for myself means a long shower. But as Henry grows, my options will too.
Networking with other Mom's is a huge help, but I agree that it's sometimes outside of one's comfort zone to do so. You're invite has inspired me to try and get together with some new Mom's in my area.
Loved this post. Thanks, Anna.
Hey! I just saw your blog linked on some others! I like this post! It's definitely a fine line between me time and family time. And we'll have to get together sometime soon and have a play date or something!
If you're ever bored, our blog is http://dialfamilyblog.blogspot.com/
I do the same thing! I want to hang out more with other mothers, but I just don't invite people over. I need to get better at that. You did good today, inviting us all to SeaWorld.
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